Ages have gone past
wondering and pondering all the time
and I am still left with a question,
“will she ever smile back at me again?”
I want to know the answer
but don’t know how.
Should I present myself
before her with a smiling or crying face?
Or just see her as someone meets a stranger?
I know she loves me
but still feigns a frown on her face.
My words… my thoughts… my love for her,
Can she just forget everything just like that?
No, she can’t… nobody can
I remember everything,
her attire, the way she smiled
The color of her sandals, the clutch in her hair
and the handbag she carried
The cologne she used still lingers in my nose.
She said she likes me, appreciates my love.
I know she hasn’t a fallible memory
Can she still forget everything
and not smile back at me again?
Oh, my fate! all the nights I cried for her
all the sweet flowers I offered her
will it bloom once in a blue moon???
I know she is no more mine — she never was,
but I still miss her talks
and the long walks we took together
I miss her smile once every while
and all her love and care she showed for me.
Was all she said just words to console me?
I know how much and how many times
I have annoyed her with stupid things
and words that could hurt a tender heart.
Will she stick around my faults only,
can she just ignore everything else?
I know we don’t belong to each other anymore,
but I still got that one undying desire
The will to be with her always, not physically though.
Those moments are a memoir for me now
my mind still echoes with her thoughts
But the question still haunts me
as I live and die,
“will she ever smile back at me again????
– Rakesh Shukla
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